How to calmly abandon people

So what does one do on an island paradise? One finds a remote part of said island and goes snorkelling of course. I was informed of this fact by a local named Ian, the minute he saw me step foot on the beach. He did sort of ruin the moment where I see an ocean for the first time in my life (readers will remember I am 193 years old). So I did what comes naturally to me. I glowered, bared my teeth, unleashed my adamantium claws and tried to walk away.

I was however, prevented from doing this by my buddy KB. KB (who now knows what a blog is) started a conversation with Ian, and this allowed me to retract my wolverine claws. Ok, I exaggerate, I just hid my hands behind my back.
Apparently, Ian suggested that we take the water taxi offered by the “Bay Gardens Watersports” operation to Pigeon Island, where upon we could snorkel to our hearts content, sup on the waterside restaurant, and once we were done, they would come and pick us up. We agreed to do this as
(a) I had never snorkelled
(b) I had never been to an island made of pigeons.
After a few hours of drinking the local “Piton” beer (by KB) and me consuming a cornucopia of caffeinated beverages, we decided to do this. We were joined by two wonderful Bangladeshi guys from New York/Boston. We paid the Ian his money for the the water taxi, tried on snorkels that at least 200 other people had put in their oral orifices (disgusting)and got into the boat with Ian, as well as the captain of the boat. While zooming towards an island made of birds I discovered the first  lie. The island was made of volcanic rocks and NOT volcanic pigeons. While I was busy getting disappointed, a conversation was taking place with Ian, being watched by the boat captain with intense disinterest.
Ian: So what time should we pick you up?
Da Group: What time is it right now?
Ian: I don’t know. Aren’t you guys wearing a watch?
DG: No, we are on Vacation, you run a business that is based on careful monitoring of time. You tell us.
I: *roots around* Ummm… *looks at the sun* It’s about three.
DG: Pick us up at four thirty.
I: How about four because I close the shop at four forty.
DG: Fine…
We get to the island, look at pretty fishes, get yelled at by a park ranger who tells us that we can snorkel, but we cannot come any further past the beach as we have not paid the money to enter the island (incidentally Pigeon Rock Island is part of the larger island and thus cannot be considered as an island at all), look at more pretty fish and get horrified  by a helluva lot of Sea Urchins.
Oh @damookman, what are Sea Urchins? Aww… My lovely tapeworms. Must I feed your parasitic quest for knowledge as well. Sea Urchins are like tiny balls of spiky death. More commonly known as The Stationary Sharks of the sea, they are prone to staying absolutely still and then SHOOTING a spike into their prey. Because the Spike is coated with Sea Cobra Venom, the prey dies instantly. Then using a complicated system of of levers and pulleys, they reel the prey in and feast on it. Their favourite prey is killer whales. I have however, not fact checked all of this information so some of the pearls of wisdom that I just dropped might be past their expiry date.
Right, where were we? Ah yes, we finished snorkelling and started to wait for our boat back to the main island. This is an accurate account of the timeline.
1555: no boat. Swim for some fun.
1600: no boat. Lie on the pier soak up the rays. Talk to the the Bangladeshi guys
1605: no boat. Begin to get worried, but chalk it up to island time
1615: no boat… Ahh here comes a boat.. Oh no, its turning. STOP TURNING YOU BAST.. Oops wrong boat.
1625: no boat.. I am hungry.. Can you eat a Sea Urchin? Oh god, SPIKES…
1630: no boat.. wait is that a boat… Nope. A jet ski..
1640: no boat. Realize that hunger pangs being replaced by anger pangs
1650: no boat. Anger being replaced by panic
1700: no boat. Panic being replaced by determination to walk 14 miles back to the main island
1705: no boat.  Determination flagging owing to aforementioned hunger
At this point in time we speak to the park ranger who initially yelled at us. He was more pleasant once we explained our predicament to him and instead of yelling at us, he laughed at us.
We then proceeded to the beachside restaurant, managed to call Bay Gardens Watersport, and had a boat sent to us. The boat, as it was pulling to the pier had a different boat captain already apologizing to us. He then followed it up with this gem. “Sorry guys, but the captain who dropped you guys, did not tell anyone that there were people on the island. He left to DJ an event and we did not know anyone needed pickup.”
Once we got to the other side, we met up with Ian, who incidentally, was swimming around merrily in the shallow bay. He told us the same story about the Captain taking off to DJ an event leaving us stranded. The question posed to Ian at this point in time was, you were in the boat with us. How did you not tell other people? Turns out Ian was busy and simply forgot about us.
So my fellow chipmunks, remember this one fact. When in St. Lucia, there are no islands made of pigeons and Ian, has a shockingly poor memory.