Different kind of travel

Being single is boring. Turns out you can only laugh at your jokes only so many times, if you hold hands in public people look at you strangely and if you try to snog yourself, you leave lip marks on the mirror. Okay, none of this happened, but solitude does become boring when I am not running, climbing, biking or working.

So today, I am treating you to a different kind of travel. I am entering the scary world of online dating. Your protestations aside, my little narwhals, there are times when drop dead stunning bloggers such as myself must brave this new world.



Step 0: I need to create a secondary email account.

Step 1: I have to upload "profile pictures". This is when I realized that I have almost no pictures of myself except a few artsy self portraits. No matter. I shall fix this by taking horrible self portraits with the camera held at an awkward angle. I shall also find pictures of me with others, and awkwardly crop them out of it. This seems to be a common trend here.

Step 2: Tell exaggerated facts about myself. I  mean am I not really 5'11", am I? Well if I must continue to pigeon-hole myself, I shall tell the world exactly what it wants to hear.

Step 3: Wait... people have already "viewed" me? What the hell does that mean?

Step 4: Click on who has "viewed" me? Ah, it makes sense now.  I have to buy dating site points aka moon-money to see who "viewed" me.

Step 5: May the great flying spaghetti monster have mercy on my pasta sauce, I purchased some moon-money.

Step 6: Oh HELLO viewer. Must send a "smile". Allegedly, smiles are "free". The quote marks are there because is nothing is really ever free.

Step 7: Wait, she "smiled" back. Is this how this is supposed to work? Fine, moon-money used to send an email.

Step 8: I will tell you in the next post.

Yours in hope and angst,
@damookman