In this one raindrops keep falling on my head

Good evening my adorable Parameciums,

Let me tell you a story about little @damookman. Little @damookman was an avid sprinter and loved to read about physics. He learned at a very young age that when when one travels close to the speed of light, the traveller gets tunnel vision due to the vagaries of physics unicorn blood-magic. He also learned at a young age that running down a hill meant running way faster than his body could ever manage on a flat surface. It was during one such run that he started to experience Tunnel Vision. Instead of stopping like any sane living creature would, little @damookman assumed that he was nearing the speed of light and then wondered why he was lying on grass with red liquid secreting out of new orifices in his body. Needless to say it was confusing. Through careful study of unicorn blood-magic, I chalked it up to the fact that running at the speed of light causes your blood to freak out and it wants to run away from your success at mocking mother nature.

How to calmly abandon people

So what does one do on an island paradise? One finds a remote part of said island and goes snorkelling of course. I was informed of this fact by a local named Ian, the minute he saw me step foot on the beach. He did sort of ruin the moment where I see an ocean for the first time in my life (readers will remember I am 193 years old). So I did what comes naturally to me. I glowered, bared my teeth, unleashed my adamantium claws and tried to walk away.